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The Good Girl's Guide to Dealing With Jealousy

Dec 6, 2012

The Good Girl's Guide to Dealing With Jealousy

Jealousy & envy can hit the best of us at the most inconvenient times.

Have you ever been on a really good streak and then all of a sudden you see someone doing it harder, better and faster and you're like "Wtf!? What about me!?", or worse, "That fucking bitch, who does she think she is?!? I can do SO MUCH BETTER. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

Wow have we all been there.

I can tell you about a few occasions I've had where I've been slapped in the face with the green eyed monster. It sucked balls. Big hairy balls.

In the early days when I was new to the acting industry, I made a new friend who was also an actress. She was bubbly and funny just like me and we hit it off straight away. We looked NOTHING alike and we totally supported each other through our journey.

Over time I noticed that she was getting a lot of auditions, there just seemed to be more work for her type. In the beginning I thought nothing of it and that my time would come. But after a while I started getting impatient wondering when my auditions were gonna come.

I started mentally noting down all the auditions she had and how many she got, it was my way of calculating how much self loathing I was gonna take into the shower that day. I became obsessed with comparing myself to her and what she was doing. 

I was driving myself nuts! Instead of concentrating on myself and my journey, I had a 24/7 subscription to what she was doing! And worst of all I made myself think that I wasn't good enough and that there wasn't anything special about me.

BIG NO NO.

Are you currently eyeing up someone else's life and all their goodies? Do you find yourself obsessing over what they're doing and achieving? Just between you and me, are you secretly jealous of their success?

This is totes normal and you should not be beating yourself up for it! Plus, I've got a few tips that'll clear this all up and get you back onto the path of YOUR awesome life!


Get over jealousy & envy


Feel it out

We can tend to have the habit of going into serious denial when we're jealous. The funny thing is by trying to convince yourself you're not jealous, you feel more jealous. Ah frustrating!

Feelings are there for a reason, they are indicators of your awareness. Stifling them away makes them worse but going into them however, changes things up!

Allow yourself to feel the jealousy. Just feel it out. Doing this makes the feeling go away, it's crazy but it's true. You have to allow yourself to feel that part of you and once you do it's like this crazy instant shift happens and the feeling dimishes.

What are you jealous about?

So you know you're having jealousy issues and you need help. Try asking yourself what it is you're actually jealous of?

What is it about this person that's making you feel insecure and threatened? What are you scared you gonna lose? What is it about them that you feel you're missing out on? What do you want?

Understanding this about yourself helps you to think about your needs and how you can go about achieving them. You have every single thing you need, now it's time to start using those tools and resources.

Get journalling!

I LOVE my journals! And your journal is the place where you can map out your comeback plan. You answered the questions in the previous step, now's the time to create a strategy to get to where you want to be.

You should also write down your thoughts, how you feel, ideas and insight. You know the best way to work your way through this, allow yourself to do it.

What makes you awesome?

Another important thingy to do in your journal is to list out your strengths and write about what makes you so freakin' awesome!

It could be your ability to belch the alphabet or your incredible strength when it comes to athletics. Whatever it is, write it down. You are crazy talented at something, you have the beauty of the victoria's secret angels and you have the capacity to love the world - so show it to us and write it down!!

Re-focus your focus

Turn your focus all back around on to you. You're playing the role of YOU, not the audience member of someone else's life!

When you get centered back in on yourself, you forget about everyone else and your path becomes clearer. This is what being present does. So get zoned in on you in THIS moment because that's all you can take care of right now.

Potential role-model?

So, this is an extra tid-bit, some may like it, some may loathe it.

Have you ever thought about making the person you're jealous of your role-model? Have they got everything you want so much that you actually wanna wind up where they are? Why not include them in your journey? Turn it around completely  and infuse more power into your journey.

I did this with a few people I had envious feelings of and wound up becoming great friends with them AND they became a part of my journey and we both inspired each other to keep going! There seriously power in numbers.

If you start doing even one of these steps you will definitely notice a shift happening and a weight lifting and you will start getting yourself back on track!


Elise xo

2 comments:

  1. Ahhh, jealousy. Yep, been there, done that. ;-) It can be such an uncomfortable feeling, but I see why actually *feeling* it would be the first step. Thanks for sharing about this, Elise!

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    Replies
    1. No probs jessica! It's hard sometimes but I've found that going into it allows it to release it and then you can get on with your day! :) x

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Thanks for commenting lovely! :)

 
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