So, you got flaws?
Damn girl, I got them too! If we really wanna get into a contest about it, I've had mine since I was 8-years-old. What about you? Can you beat that? Can ya? Can ya!?
Okay, childishness aside, can we have a REAL conversation about this please? Body image. Argh! Single most important thing to a woman's mental health is how she feels about herself. Takes years to build confidence up, and a moment to tear it down.
That 'tear down' infests every area of a your life from the clothes you wear everyday, how you interact socially, when you see your friends, how often you have sex, how well you perform at your job, your own personal happiness to the relationship you are constantly creating with yourself.
Adoring your body, loving your flaws & seducing yourself goes far beyond self love. It's about creating a healthy body image regardless of your size.
When you learn to do this (through my AWESOME steps below) you will touch every part of your life. You'll gain strength and lighten the load of your heart with each step you take. Think of how much more time you'd have on your hands if you can successfully replace your self-loathing with joy, bliss, love & fun!
Another point I want to make out is that everyone no matter how thin, thick, short, tall or 'normal', have body image issues. Let's start changing that today shall we?
- Whatever your flaws are, FLAUNT THEM: This was the most profound thing I ever heard of doing. FLAUNT YOUR FLAWS. Turn what you can't stand into your greatest asset.
- Buy clothing & underwear that makes you feel uber sexy/happy but also FITS: If you're worried about how big you are, but you're still cramming your voluptuous frame into a tiny piece of material, it's time to go out, honor your body & buy yourself some bigger clothes that look sexy as hell on you & make you feel so comfortable. If you're worried about how small you are, you get yourself some stunning numbers that'll make you feel beautiful! In other words, STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE SIZE ON THE LABEL. It doesn't matter!
- Drop the story & write a new one: "Soooooo like, I've had body image issues since I was 8-years-old..." It's time to let this story go hun. Plus, it's probably gotten a little boring and repetitive. Invent a new story, c'mon we could do it a thousand times a day when we were kids! How do you wanna feel in your body in this new story? What's the kinda relationship you wanna have with your body?
- Move your body. I don't mean go to the gym and run on the treadmill for 3 hours while you simultaneously slate every inch of your body. No no. What I mean is make your body active. Dance around your house, do some zumba, go for a lovely bush walk with your hunk-o-manflesh or take a shopping/gossip date with your girls. Do things that make you happy, that also combine being active. You will feel amazing for it!
- Learn the art of Charm & Cheek: Kitty Cavalier's School of Charm & Cheek is for women who want to learn how to reclaim those two elements as a source of power and to know themselves more deeply and intimately. She explains that Charm is the sensation of pleasing or delight, and Cheek is endearingly irreverent. They're the Ying & Yang of living a really fun & joyous life. Too much charm can be cute & pretty but you always need a little cheek.
- Ignore the haters: There's one in every town. But that in no way means you should buy into their crap of what they say about you. If someone in your life doesn't make you feel loved, beautiful or worthy it's better to distance yourself from them than put up with their own insecurities they're projecting on you.
- Join a Burlesque Class: Burlesque is such an intriguing, alluring form of entertainment that involves getting on stage and flaunting EVERYTHING (& yes includes a strip tease). Before you say "There ain't no way in HELL that's happening!" you can first learn Burlesque from the comforts of your own home (or bedroom with all the curtains closed if your so inclined). Channel your inner Carmen Electra or Jo Weldon. Burlesque isn't just about stripping, teasing or seducing, it's actually a form of therapy exploration for someone whose dealt with body image issues, eating disorders or just feeling dirty because your a woman. It helps heal those wounds.
- Be unapologetically YOU: You are who you are and as much as you want you can't change that (unless you really try too). Living an authentic life isn't about 'being the best version of yourself', it's actually about living in the polarity of your flaws and assets and not making either one right or wrong. It's about wearing both of them unapologetically & having a wild time!
- Love what's unlovable: Re-tune your relationship with those parts of yourself that you find unlovable. If you struggle with a particular body part, say your belly. Start telling yourself your belly is the hottest thing about you. Or if it's your thighs, tell yourself your thighs are your sexiest asset. The only thing less attractive than "flaws" is not liking those parts of yourself that are considered flaws.
- Sweet talk yourself. Okay, TMI time. Before my shower every night, I spend some time just being naked in my bathroom. I turn on my fancy shower radio I got when I was 14 and I dance andflip my hair round (it actually feels AMAZING on the skin of your back, did you know that?!). I take time just to enjoy my body and talk to it sweetly, tell her she's beautiful and that she's sexy as hell. Doing this has greatly improved my body image, so I dare you to do it too.
- Seduction = attraction: Oh yeah, seduction is actually a great tool for law of attraction! But first you gotta change your personal definition of seduction (which will more than likely be about sex, being perfect, a way to get what you want or being cold). Seduction as a way of life is living with the utmost authenticity, boisterously. And when you do (be) that you naturally attract or seduce what you really want. You bypass your egos need for control and you attract your souls true desire.
- Give up the bitch fest: Sitting round with your friends, family and colleagues bitching about your bodies is the WORST thing you could do to yourself. It psychologically affects you deeper than you realize & completely warps your relationship with your body. STOP IT. If you've got nothing nice to say about yourself, don't say it! Instead, print this page out and do at least ONE of these steps to making yourself feel better!
- Love yourself no matter what size you are just for the f*ck of it: Be a rebel without a cause. Love yourself till the end of time, just because you f*cking can!
Oh and if you know of someone who is struggling with her own self image, please share this post with her. It may just change her life. xx